How to deal with the 'one better' gift giver

Published on 5 December 2021 at 09:03


Whether you can agree or not here, there is some peer pressure amongst families especially at Christmas time, and then some friends that may be a bit flamboyant also. 


Here's how it goes

So you've done the research, you've asked the questions and you're very happy with your gift choices, however, you have that one person in the family that's all about the impact, that one person who will buy the largest, most ostentatious thing they can find, that's the person I will try and help you with here. 


Their motives

They want all eyes on them, they want the day to be about them and their gift, every visitor to the house that day will be shown this gift, usually instigated by them. They will keep talking about it for as long as Christmas is being celebrated. They want everyone to know they can buy better gifts.


Photo from Pexels


Type of gift

This will usually be an over the top version of something mentioned during the year, for example, parents mention a cheese platter they liked, the over top gift giver will instead not just buy this, they will purchase a cheese tasting day at a nearby cheese factory. 


Another example would be a sibling mentioning their love for a celebrity, so they will go and buy a copy of their autobiography which will probably be signed and add lots of other trinket gifts with that celebrity on them, a coaster, a t- shirt and the calendar of course. 


Perhaps someone in the family is having their first Christmas with a baby, what an amazing thing, most people would buy a gift for the parents and one for the baby, this just isn't the level of impact our showoff is looking for, there will be gifts all emblazoned with "babies first christmas" or similar, there may include a photo album of babies first year (handmade of course), leaving room for the super dooper Christmas photos, you get the idea I hope. 


How to deal

  • Talk with any of your other family members, you will find they also share your feelings in being equally annoyed that a gift they put thought into hasn't been valued as highly.
  • Once the fuss dies down, make a point of getting your gift out, point out the reasons it's so perfect for whomever you got it for, deep down they'll appreciate the effort gone into it. 

Photo from Pexels


Sometimes it's not about who's spent more but about what a person will cherish or remember. I have found personally that a present from the 'one better' giver won't last. If it is a visit somewhere or food, it'll be gone, never to be seen again. Whereas a personalised or meaningful present can stay forever. 


Why do you suppose people behave this way, do you have one in your circle? 


Tomorrows instalment : realising you might not enjoy Christmas 


J x

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