The Experience that almost destroyed me Part Three

Published on 7 April 2022 at 09:18

 

This is my third and final part of my experience that almost destroyed me. It has been like a weight off my shoulders honestly, to turn this experience into a good write. I would like to say thank you to those who have sent me supportive kind words throughout. 

 

Here are parts one and two if you are reading this for the first time: -

 

 

Everything that I write about in this third part, happened within hours of receiving the devastating news. It was hard for me to write it (and it may be difficult to read it too) but something about venting it all was actually quite cleansing for me. 

 

Upsetting thoughts

I had to get up and carry on as normal in the morning as I had my daughter to think about, thankfully it was my day off work, but my head was full of emotions, one thing I knew for certain though, was that I was going to contact the wife. I just had to speak to her properly, was she genuine? Or was she a liar like her husband? I needed to message her first to find out, but I knew I didn't want to do that from my own number, I needed to find some sort of security at least. 

 

I rushed around getting us both ready to leave to head into town, my plan was to buy a sim card so I could use a different number. I kept telling myself just tick one thing off a list at a time, take it easy Jeanette. 

 

We got in the car and all of a sudden a wave came over which caught my breath. It was like an aftershock, receiving the news all over again. I continued driving, it was early in the morning so there was quite a lot of traffic around. I was following a lorry who kept braking quite a bit and for the first time in my life, I actually thought I'd be quite happy to plough into the back of it. No stopping, just straight into it, I was feeling that numb.

 

Photo from Unsplash

 

Thankfully I didn't, there was one thing that stopped me that day, and it was my daughter in the back of the car. 

 

I pulled the car over quickly at the side of the road and called my friend. She offered to come and meet me at the car but I knew I couldn't make a scene in front of my daughter. She gave me a good talking to and I carried on into town. I have never since that one time felt like that again. 

 

The Phone call

When I got home and finally cleared my head or should I say built up the courage to call her, I dialled and anxiously waited for her to answer. She did, and she sounded upset. I introduced myself because I didn't know what else to say, followed by 'I can't believe this is happening'. 

 

Photo from Unsplash

 

She basically got straight to the point with her questions, to which I answered truthfully because I believed she needed to know everything. She also wasted no time explaining about the past between them, she told me about their daughters and about the lies he told her of where he was going at the weekends. The phone calls he regularly received from his 'boss' was actually her wondering where he was and that he would say good night to the girls all the time when he was 'away', although now we know he was actually with me. 

 

Honestly none of it was going in my head at the time, I was still feeling so numb I just could not fathom that talking to her, his wife was literally happening to me.

 

She was still upset, I could hear that in her voice. She told me she was determined that this was the last straw now, they were over. I encouraged it, as no one deserves to be treated like the way we had been. She was very understanding of my situation as I had a daughter too. It was a very surreal phone call indeed. Neither one of us blamed the other, we were the innocent parties here. 

 

Returning the necklace 

She explained also about the fact that she had been looking for her necklace and was devastated when I explained he had given it to me as a present. But I was determined to make sure it got back safely to its rightful owner, so I asked her for her address and said I would post it straight away. Of course, this would also mean I might actually find out where Liam lived too, but what would I do with that information? There wasn't anything, I posted it and never looked back.

 

Photo from Unsplash

 

So, did I ever see or hear from him again? 

Nope, I never had the urge to want to speak to him and as far as I can remember, he didn't attempt to contact me either. I deleted his number and blocked it a few days later, I needed to start healing and that was a sure way to start. 

 

However, the thought that he knew where I lived started to freak me out. What on earth would I do if he turned up one evening or one weekend when I was on my own? I decided that if anyone did knock in the evenings I wouldn't answer and for the first few weekends of being alone I stayed at my parents. I had never felt like that before, worried that a distrustful man would turn up out of the blue. 

 

I just could not get out of my head why someone would go to all those lengths, for nothing. The gifts, the time and the lies. The 'nieces' he showed me were actually his daughters, the dress he went to some effort to hide from his wife all wrapped up in ribbons as a present and pushing me to look at houses to rent together. I was left exhausted trying to come to terms with it all. 

 

Most importantly to me, was the embarrassment I had been caused. Introducing him to my family was a massive step for me, I was so nervous about that day and for it all to end blown up in my face,then there was the friends who had seen me go through my divorce to being happy with someone, to then all thinking I was a idiot who had stupidly fallen for something like that. 

 

Nothing

Radio silence, no apology, no visit and no attempt to make contact. Nothing since that phone call that night. Liam disappeared into thin air and out of my life. I wondered for a while whether his wife stuck to her word though, did she stay with him? And I had quite often thought whether he was doing it again to someone else? Questions I did not get answers to but that was ok, I'm stronger than that, I gained my confidence again and I slowly learnt to trust. I am fine, I am happy and we all learn from mistakes made. 

 

My story is only one of millions out there I know, but support is out there too. Just be careful, be on your guard and if something is too good to be true then it probably is. 

 

Love J x


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Comments

Riyah Speaks
6 months ago

Wow! This is such a scary experience. I’m sorry that you went through this. Hopefully he chooses to never contact you again. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Jeanette
6 months ago

Hi, thank you for reading, no I didn't ever hear from him, which is a good thing x

Nithin RS
6 months ago

I hope you have recovered from the trauma. This incident is haunting. I hope you will be able to move on soon.

Jeanette
6 months ago

Hiya, it was quite a long time ago now and I did move on thank you, it's good to raise awareness

Molly | Transatlantic Notes
6 months ago

Ultimately, you've dealt with all this incredibly well -- you were courageous (even though it hurts) and I am so happy you are no longer with this *bleep!

Molly | transatlanticnotes.com

Jeanette
6 months ago

It is crazy that these sorts of people are out there, I'm fine thank you, stronger than ever

Cassie
6 months ago

Jeanette! This story is so shocking and moving. I'm proud of the strength you had, even through the heartache. You didn't need his apology. You just needed to forgive yourself because you were innocent. No shame whatsoever. As I read somewhere... there's a reason why rearview mirrors are small. It's time to look ahead.

Thank you for sharing this personal story with us.

~ Cassie

Jeanette
6 months ago

Thank you Cassie that means alot. Those words are fantastic, what a great way of thinking about experiences!

Zinelr
6 months ago

The shock, the numbness, the fear are all understandable. I am so sorry you went through something this horrible. You were so strong to come out of this when you did.

- Zinelr

Jeanette
6 months ago

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement there, I am grateful I did walk away from it all relatively stro ger than ever