Welcome back to part two of my dating gone wrong story. If you missed part one here is the link
Buckle up because this stuff... Is about to get real…
My big party & second red flag
So after about 10 weeks of dating he was aware I had a big work's do approaching. It was a formal occasion and I was struggling to find the perfect dress. I felt comfortable around him at this point so he could see my frustration building. I remember he wanted to help so we both searched online together.
By this stage he was popping into my house a couple of times during the week now, as well as staying at the weekends too. Which was weird because he lived a good 90 minutes away from me, he told me he couldn't be away from his mum too long and he had a job where he was needed at a minute's notice?
So, after our searching while I had given up, he appeared one evening with a big box all wrapped up with a massive bow on it. I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman!
Sure enough it was the most perfect dress I had ever seen, beige in colour, beautiful diamontes on the front and a flowing skirt part that floated behind me when I walked around. I tried it on and unbelievably it fit me! He remembered my size, and ordered the perfect dress for me, he was amazing. I honestly stood there and cried. It was literally two days until the party and I was thinking about not going, like Cinderella, I could not go to the Ball because I had nothing but drags to wear. Not any more!
The evening of the party arrived, I had never felt more confident, and ended on such a high. I had drank quite a lot and remember calling Liam quite a few times, with no answer I thought, it was 1am and was probably best he didn't answer anyway, due to my slurred, loud drunk self.
Why do that?
The following morning was not one I had any plans for apart from sleep. Liam called me at 10am to ask about my evening, I went downstairs and grabbed a glass of water while talking to him on the phone. I was still in the kitchen when I heard a knock at the door, now I don't get many visitors so I asked him to stay on the phone, I opened the door with anticipation and there he stood! Liam was in front of me with his overnight bag.
I was so gobsmacked, I didn't move for ages. He thought it was hilarious and that I liked him surprising me, but deep down, I didn't want to see anyone, I wanted to spend the day in my pj's and veg out. I really could not fathom why he was here.
Photo from Unsplash
His accident and another red flag
I remember asking him when I could come and stay with him, he always travelled up to me and that one weekend I would love to visit the big city and see his local area too. He would always brush it off, but this one week, I told him I was coming down on Friday night, there would be nothing stopping me and he just needed to be there to pick me up.
I was at work one morning, maybe two days before I was due to visit London, and I had received 3 missed calls on my phone from an unknown number, there was a message left on my answer phone too. I took my phone and went to the kitchen to listen to it. It was Liam, he sounded shook up and scared, it was really muffled so I couldn't hear him properly.
He told me he had been in a car accident, his phone was damaged, he'd hit his head and was being taken to the hospital but not to panic, he was absolutely fine it was just routine.
I didn't know what to do but worry and told my boss straight away that I wouldn't be able to concentrate at work with all this going on, and left. As I was on my way out my phone vibrated, it was a message from a number I didn't know, it informed me that she was the paramedic looking after Liam, I wasn't to panic, he had hit his head and that was the only reason they were taking him into hospital to check. His phone was damaged but he had another one back home to which he would call me from later and that he loved me. We had never said that to each other before. Bless him he asked her to send that to me, how sweet.
Well, I got home and sat down and thought about it all, it was like an epiphany moment, no paramedic would ever send messages like that to anyone surely? If his phone was damaged, how did he know my number? And why would they let a patient they're treating for head injury ring me and leave me a message? One more thing I thought about, he knew I was at work and that my phone wouldn't be answered, there was a no phone rule at work.
And then it hit me… has he actually made all this up just so I wouldn't visit him this weekend? But what did that mean? Why didn't he want me to visit him? I was determined to find out, so when I spoke to him that evening I told him I was still coming down and I would look after him all weekend. He was adamant I was not to bother and from that I refused to pick the phone up to his new number for a couple of days while I processed it all.
Finding out the truth
We got back to talking only because I wanted answers. By now, we had established a night routine, he'd call me at 10.05pm every single night. But this one evening I didn't get the call. I left it until 10.15pm and called him, but it went straight to answerphone, which is never a good sign but I was tired so I fell asleep.
My phone rang about 12.30am and it was him, he sounded like he was running, he was definitely outside. He said to me 'Jeanette I'm so sorry, I hope you can forgive me, but my ex has called the police on me and I think i'm going to get arrested'. I wasn't taking it all in, I was all confused I was asking him questions but he wasn't replying. He just kept saying sorry.
The phone call ended and I just couldn't sleep. I kept telling myself I knew it was too good to be true, and what ex? He had not mentioned her to me before and why would she get him arrested?
I was trying to message him and call but nothing was going through. I was beside myself thinking all sorts of bad stuff. Just then, I received an email from someone I didn't know. Even as I write this I am filled with anger and butterflies. The email was from his wife! She explained she knew the password to his emails, read everything me and Liam had sent to each other and wanted to put me straight.
They had been married for a long time, they had two children and he had cheated on her several times before. He didn't have a job, his mum was not ill and that the necklace he 'bought' me was in fact hers that she had been looking for. And the dress, he had put on her catalogue bill and she knew nothing about it.
She had approached him about it all this evening but things got out of hand and her neighbours had called the police, taking him away to calm down. She left her mobile number at the end of it and wanted me to call her to arrange the return of her necklace.
Photo from Unsplash
There was obviously so much more she had put into that email, all about her feelings etc and worried about the kids again. I have to be honest here and say I was properly shocked. I had actually never felt this way before in my life and I didn't know what to do with myself. My world had stopped and I was shaking. That was the very first time I made myself a black coffee with sugar in it. I had heard it was good for shock. It was by now 1.30am there was nothing I could do except try to sleep. I saw 3.30, and then 4.30, the alarm went off at 6.30 which meant I had two hours of sleep.
If you would like to read what I did the next day and hear about all the feelings that I experienced, here is the link for Part three:
For now, I'm sorry it was a long read but I also hope for those who are currently dating, that you be careful who you trust.
And to my readers, I am fine now, this was many years ago.