My partner and I have come together to create this post, a collaboration that's never been done before. It was quite refreshing compiling this list of first dates that we both feel should be avoided.
Our first date could not have gone better. We met 9 years ago at our favourite coffee shop, laughed so much and ended it with a perfect kiss, one of those romantic movie kisses, not a rushed 'gotta have you now type'.
A first face to face meeting with that one person you have clicked with via messages, should be the perfect way to see if you share any more common ground. Plus asking those all important questions and gauging whether there really is an attraction or awkwardness.
It is some one on one time!
So here is that list:
The cinema
You’ve been messaging that potential date now for months, you’re about to take the plunge and meet up, are you not excited to see them? To perhaps have a laugh or catch up on the latest gossip? Well you can't, because they’ve booked cinema tickets for that 3 hour long film they’ve been dying to see! Oh the disappointment.
No conversation, whispering and then re-whispering again because they didn't hear you the first time. Strangers legs touching yours, and arms taking over the armrest from the person next to you, who should have really booked out the whole row to themselves. Numb bum, scared to get up and visit the loo, in case you fall down the steps on your way out, and you don't want to laugh or cry because your date isn't.
You just know, if they have booked seats in that very back row, that they’re intention is less than honourable. A quick peck on the lips and others around you are judging you. Hold hands and you fear that a member of staff will throw you out for potential public indecency. This isn’t romance people, avoid, avoid, avoid.
Concerts
Horrendously loud music, drunken fellow giggers and overpriced refreshments. Not to mention the queues for said refreshments. I totally agree, attending a concert to see your shared love of musicians would be a potential great date. But not for the very first one.
The music can bring an entire audience together, the energy from everyone is electric. But do you really want to get to know 1000 other people, or the person you've been eager to meet?
A play date with the kids
First of all, congratulations on confirming a time and a day that you are both free, at the same time! Being a single parent myself, I understand the difficulty. When I say ‘play date’, I am picturing visiting a local park, the soft play or some other child friendly, festering with germs, loud and busy event. Sounds super romantic…not!
Your kids, or theirs will guarantee not to be on their best behavior. Manners, sticky fingers and fights are sure to occur. Not leaving your side, ‘can we go yet’ and crying are some really enjoyable emotions that we just love our children for at the most awkward of times.
Yes, you are a parent, however you are also allowed to have a social life, a love life and time out from your children. Get to know your dates' quirks and their real laugh on a first date. Get to find out the true person first.
Dog walking
Pretty much along the same lines of the kids play date above, stopping to pick up the dog's crap is not a particularly sexy chore.
Would you take it as a sign on your first meeting if your dogs didn't get along? I know I would.
Photo from Unsplash
Family events
I do not know who would actually agree to this first date. But they must be confident and very content agreeing to meet actual family members on a first date. Comparisons to previous partners, questions of marriage or kids and not to mention the pressure of gaining their approval, is a full gone conclusion here.
Swimming / Spa
Wet hair, chlorine smell and a chance of slipping over, are what comes to my mind on this date. Some, I suppose, would enjoy the exposure of seeing their date ‘almost naked’, while the majority would rather cover up. I find this a rather intimate setting and it feels almost like a 10th date, or even waiting until you are an established couple.
No makeup, body hang ups and if it is cold, some perky nipples and maybe shrinking issues, could happen. How can you impress in this environment? It also would not be very private, if meeting in a public spa area.
Photo from Unsplash
A works canteen
I know I can hear your 'no way's' from here! But believe it or not, I have heard in the past that people offer their workplace as a first date meeting ground. Staring, banter from colleagues and questions will be what you can expect with this one. Imagine the awkwardness if their boss appears, who coincidentally does not get on well with your new date… cue the tumbleweed rolling by.
Next, do you even ask questions if ears are listening? How personal can you really get? Do you kiss goodbye? How do you know if it's gone well? Or bad? What do you wear?
There are too many questions with this one, risks are high and consequences would need to be considered.
Football game
Aggressive football fans, chants about teams or players, including swear words and have you seen the price of tickets to watch matches nowadays?
No high heels here, no speaking during a penalty and definitely no holding hands. What? Couples go to matches all the time, yes but do they want those fans around them taking the absolutely micky out of them for the rest of the game? Nope.
Imagine declaring 'I think you're wonderful' just as the crowd goes silent. Or 'I think we should do this again sometime' right when the referee is sending off a player. Awkward comes to mind.
Paintballing
Bruises for weeks after, competitiveness and most likely ending up with a sore loser, who will not let it go for hours.
I don't feel like this is a romantic first date as it's a form of aggression. You could end up hurting each other too.
Wearing a full on face mask, hair ruined and taking a tumble while running. Just some stuff here to bear in mind.
Photo from Unsplash
A place where you and your ex went too
First of all, no matter how you feel, your brain will automatically draw comparisons. Are you drawing this potential new partner into the mold of your ex? You may not be seeing them for the person they are. Ouch, what about calling them by the ex's name too! It could happen.
It also shows a lack of effort. If you can't be bothered to make the effort for the first date, what else can't you be bothered to do?
I feel this shows bad etiquette and bad manners. A definite no no.
A 'did you know fun fact'?
Researchers in Chicago found that people were twice as likely to find a date through friends or family members, than in a bar scene.
Thank you for reading this post. Hats off to those who have made these first dates a successful hit (I believe they are out there) but I would be interested if you share our thoughts, or not?
What would be your ideal first date?
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Comments
Ugh - these all sound like a total nightmare! I think my ideal first date would be either a classic meal out or a walk around a park, where we could get to know each other in a relaxed atmosphere. I've always loved arcade dates too! Thank you so much for sharing!
Precisely my point, getting to know each other is a huge part of dating in my eyes, there's nothing else more important. Thank you so much for reading x
Interesting post. I don't agree with dog walking though - I think that would be a lovely date idea and knowing you're dating someone who loves dogs as much as you do is a great thing!
Thank you for your thoughts jenny x